Laugh each day.

[kodydog]

Two antennas met on a roof, fell in love and got married. The Ceremony wasn't much, but the reception was excellent.

[sofadoc]

I heard they had a fight because one of the antennas couldn't keep his eyes off the cute little dish next door.

[Virgs Sew n Sew]

I heard they had a fight because one of the antennas couldn't keep his eyes off the cute little dish next door.

Now that's funny!

[kodydog]

A jumper cable walks into a bar. The bartender says, "I'll serve you, but don"t start anything."

[Virgs Sew n Sew]

A jumper cable walks into a bar. The bartender says, "I'll serve you, but don"t start anything."

You're killing me here!  Another good one!

[sofadoc]

The jumper cable got angry, and said "You're prejudiced against me!"

The bartender said "Oh, that's just your negative side talking"


GROAN-N-N-N !!!

[byhammerandhand]

The bartender says, "We don't serve time travelers in here."

A time traveler walks into a bar.

[byhammerandhand]

A priest, a Baptist minister and a rabbi walk into a bar.

The bartender says, "What is this, some kind of a joke?"

[byhammerandhand]

An Irishman walks into a bar and orders two pints of beer. The bartender says he can only serve drinks one at a time.

The Irishman replies "See, here's the thing. I grew up on a farm in Ireland with my brother, and every day after we were done working we'd go to the pub for a pint together. One day our father passed away and left us the farm, but it wasn't big enough to support both of us and our families, so we decided that since I was the younger brother I'd go to America to seek my fame and fortune. However we also agreed that at the end of the day we'd go into the local pub and each have two pints, one for us and one for our brother across the pond."

The bartender decides to go ahead and serve him the two pints. The Irishman drinks them both, pays and leaves. This goes on for a while until one day the Irishman comes in and orders a single pint.

The bartender brings him the pint and asks "Is your brother OK?"

The Irishman replies "Oh, my brother's fine. I just quit drinking."

[byhammerandhand]

Guy walks into a bar waving a pistol and says, "Somebody here's been sleeping with my wife, and I'm going to shoot him as soon as I find out who."

The bar went silent.

Then a voice from the back says, "I don't think you brought enough bullets."

[Mojo]

From one of my favorite TV shows - ALF.

Alf: Wheres the blender

Kate: Why do you need a blender ?

Alf: Because the cat wont fit in the toaster.

:)

Chris

[Mike]

I heard they had a fight because one of the antennas couldn't keep his eyes off the cute little dish next door.

Now that's funny!

ya

[Darren Henry]

Two middle aged Scots ladies were talking by the mail box;

Says Mary to Margret I'm just not feeling myself lately.

Says Margaret to Mary Is just as well---it's a dirty habit anyway!

[kodydog]

A women has twins and gives them up for adoption. One of them goes to a family in Egypt and is called "Ahmal." The other goes to Spain and they name him "Juan."

Years later, Juan sends a picture of himself to his birth mother. Upon receiving the picture, she tells her husband that she wishes she also had a picture of Ahmal. Her husband responds, "They're twins! If you've seen Juan, you've seen Ahmal."

[sofadoc]

A Baptist, a Methodist, and a Pentecostal preacher all met one day.

After talking for a while, they discovered that they all had a common problem.
They had bats in the attics of their churches.

The Pentecostal preacher said "I climbed into the attic, trapped them all in a burlap sack, took them 5 miles away, and turned them loose. The next day, the attic was full of bats again"

The Methodist preacher said "I did the same thing, except I took them 10 miles away. But they all came back a couple of days later".

The Baptist preacher said "Well I got rid of my bats for good. I trapped them in a burlap sack, took them downstairs and Baptized them, and I haven't seen them since".