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Friday Funny

Started by byhammerandhand, June 07, 2013, 04:03:00 pm

Previous topic - Next topic

byhammerandhand

An old man walks into a barber shop and asks the barber for a shave. He tells the barber my cheeks are so wrinkled I can,t get a good shave. The barber says No Problem and reaches for a small ball in a cup on his shelf. Here put this in your mouth up against your cheek. After he,s done the old man says thats the cleanest shave i,ve had in years. But, what would have happened if I had swallowed the ball. The barber just shrugged and said, " No problem, just bring it back in a couple of days like everyone else."
Keith

"Opportunity is missed by most people because it is dressed in overalls and looks like work." Thomas A. Edison

byhammerandhand

An older, white-haired man walked into a jewelry store one Friday evening with a beautiful young woman at his side.
He told the jeweler he was looking for a special ring for his girlfriend.
The jeweler looked through his stock and brought out a $5,000 ring.
The old man said, "No, I'd like to see something more special."
At that statement, the jeweler went to his special stock and brought out another ring.
"Here's a stunning ring at only $40,000" the jeweler said.
The young lady's eyes sparkled and her whole body trembled with excitement.
The old man, seeing this, said, "We'll take it."
The jeweler asked how payment would be made and the old man said, "By check, but I know you need to make sure my check is good,
so I'll write it now and you can call the bank Monday to verify the funds. I'll pick the ring up Monday afternoon." he said.

Monday morning, the jeweler phoned the old man. "There's no money in that account."
"I know," said the old man, "But let me tell you about my weekend!!
Keith

"Opportunity is missed by most people because it is dressed in overalls and looks like work." Thomas A. Edison

Darren Henry

 >:( Why, for come you always pick on us old people  :( LOL.

One from Dad;[and he's really old---no age discrimination though.???]

QuoteBiblical lesson

Today's Short Reading from the Bible... from Genesis:
"And God promised men that good and obedient wives
would be found in all corners of the earth".

Then he made the earth round... and he laughed and laughed and laughed!
Life is a short one way trip, don't blow it!Live hard,die young and leave no ill regrets!

Mojo

My favorite saying:

" God made man and rested...........he then made women and no ones rested since ".

:)

Chris

gene

June 08, 2013, 06:45:50 am #4 Last Edit: June 08, 2013, 06:46:36 am by gene
See! Here's the problem with getting old. I've got a really great, sexist, condescending, wife demeaning joke, that everyone would love except for a few of the 'little ladies', and I can't remember it!

:)

gene
QUALITY DOES NOT COST, IT PAYS!

kodydog

Quote from: Darren Henry on June 07, 2013, 05:04:13 pm

One from Dad;[and he's really old---no age discrimination though.???]

QuoteBiblical lesson

Today's Short Reading from the Bible... from Genesis:
"And God promised men that good and obedient wives
would be found in all corners of the earth".

Then he made the earth round... and he laughed and laughed and laughed!



Good one Darren. I'm gonna borrow it.
There cannot be a crisis next week. My schedule is already full.
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