Meetings

[byhammerandhand]

I worked in the corporate world for 30 years before leaving to carry a tool box.   When people ask me if I miss the corporate world, my response is always, "Not the meetings."

I have an upcoming job to rehab some conference room tables.  They want me to come in on a weekend or evening because
1) I might do something that will make people sick.  Mind you, I will be rubbing out scratches.  I sent them MSDS for all the products I might possibly use.
2) They could not possibly give up two of their meeting rooms for a whole day.

They probably had to call a meeting to review this work.

Let me be the first to say that if the meeting rooms were closed for a day, productivity would go up.  I can't ever remember a meeting that was not a total waste of time.   Especially heinous are the "What I did on summer vacation"  type meetings where everyone tells what they or their group did since the last meeting.   Really, I could read this in 1/10th the time; less if you count the time "waiting a few more minutes for everyone to show up."

[gene]

I was going to say something like "When they said you might make people sick, are you sure they were talking about the chemicals?", but I won't. That would sound too mean.

I flew to St. Louis once for a very important meeting. 25 people sitting around waiting for the VP to show up. I spent my summers growing up on farms in Kentucky. A very attractive lady in this meeting grew up on a dairy farm in Missouri. She and I spent 25 minutes mesmerizing the other 23 people with all the things we knew about cow pies. Such as, the ones that are still warm are the best ones to step in bare footed. The old ones that are crusty on top are the worst.

Everyone one in that room said if it wasn't for what Sherry and I shared about cow $hit, they would have gotten absolutely nothing out of that meeting. And most of us flew into St. Louis.

It's been almost 8 years since I opened my upholstery studio and I haven't had to write one corporate report!!!

gene

[sofadoc]

I think we should put our best foot forward, and be pro-active. We need to maximize our synergy. Let's have a "sit-down", and do some  brainstorming.
If we target our "out of the box" core competencies, we'll be able to implement our innovative action items.
We need some motivated self-starters for this project.
Let's have another "sit-down" next week.
Don't forget, all memos must have a cover sheet.

By the way, whose turn is it to bring the sprinkled donuts?

[lc]

I'll bring the doughnuts I haven't been in a meeting before ...joking ...they are absolutely lame at times .
I was on safety comittees and such years ago its a waste of time no one listens anyway.
I'll still bring the doughnuts.

[Qwerty27807]

By the way, whose turn is it to bring the sprinkled donuts?

We're not sure until the donut committee gives their PowerPoint presentation.

[sofadoc]

I don't want to micro-manage here, but we need to minimize our under utilized productivity distribution units while maximizing our enhanced resources.

In other words, let Hammer bring the donuts.

[Mojo]

I had a client based in Atlanta who loved meetings. I hated the entire trip. I would have to drive out to the airport, catch a flight from Lansing to Detroit then a connecting flight to Atlanta. Once at Atlanta I would have to go to the rental car place, pick up a car, drive North to Woodstock and spend the night in a hotel. Get up the next day and sit through 2 hours of meetings on a Saturday morning that could have all been handled over the phone during the week, then reverse course. Drive back to Atlanta, drop off the car, take the tram to my gate, board the flight and head to Detroit, get my connector to Lansing and then head home.

I can remember many days that I had up to 15 meetings scheduled in one 8 hour day at my office. All I did was grab files and run from one conference room to another. I hated meetings with a passion. I used to work into the night sometimes because it was the only time I could get any actual work done - after everyone was gone and the office was silent.

Chris

[lc]

Now thats whats called being married to the job ! I don't know how you could have put up with that...this society stretches us to our limits sometimes.

[byhammerandhand]

What amazes me is that any company I've been in think Dilbert must work there.

[bobbin]

Lol, Qwerty.  You guys, this has to be one of the funniest threads I've read in a very long time.  Hahaha.

[sofadoc]

Maybe those companies should've hired my Grandmother to run their business meetings.
She would've had them pourin' piss from a boot.......BUT......they'd be doing it in a "pro-active" way that maximized their synergy.

[Mike]

I once had to resurface the sidewalks at a scruple
Of strip malls in upstate new York at night when the stores were closed.
Sucked.

[byhammerandhand]

A Texas quip I heard last week.  May have been attributed to LBJ:
"He couldn't pour piss out of a boot if the instructions were written on the heel"


Come to think of it, aren't our legislatures just never ending meetings?

Maybe those companies should've hired my Grandmother to run their business meetings.
She would've had them pourin' piss from a boot.......BUT......they'd be doing it in a "pro-active" way that maximized their synergy.

[gene]

There are definitely benefits to working by myself. If the donut person forgets to bring the donuts for a meeting, I have only myself to blame.

The hardest part about working by myself is that whenever I can't find something, it's always right where I left it.

gene

[kodydog]

Yeah Gene, I've been looking for a pair of reading glasses for about 4 weeks now. Driving me crazy. I just know someone walked off with them :'( :'( :'(