A Christmas Miracle (sort of)

[sofadoc]

Twas the night before Christmas
The old Singer had stopped humming
We were waiting for Santa
But he wasn't coming

Back at the pole
Things had come to a halt
There was a big problem
But who was at fault?

Santa was sad
He was looking forlorn
His brand new sleigh seat
Was ragged and torn

Just yesterday
It was fit as a fiddle
But last night Blitzen
Chewed a hole in the middle

Rudolf knew
This was an awful plight
That hole in the seat
Would bug Santa all night

"Oh, this is terrible"
"What shall we do?"
He checked the "Nice" list for upholsterers
(There were only a few)

He called Darren first
Since he was close by
But he wouldn't help
(And he wouldn't say why)

So he called Jan and Cheryl
But they were both out of town
Then he tried Sofadoc
Who flat turned him down

If Bobbin could mend it
Things would be merry
But she was booked up
Til late January

He got Gene on the phone
But hung up with a sigh
"He said he would do it"
"But his price is too high!"

If Mojo could fix it
Everything would be fine
"But I think he's been drinking"
"His nose is redder than mine"

"Surely there's someone"
"There must be a way"
"Maybe June or Mike
Can help save the day"

But when he asked them to do it
His spirit diminished
They both had deadlines
That they hadn't finished

Santa was angry
He was getting quite pissed
"MOVE ALL THE UPHOLSTERERS
TO THE NAUGHTY LIST!!"

When what to his wondering
Eyes did appear?
A shiny repair truck
Stitcher was here!!

He fixed santa up
And he fixed him up fine
He even sewed in
A nice flame design

Santa checked it out
(And he checked it out twice)
He said "Move all the upholsterers
From "naughty" back to "nice"

Santa exclaimed
As he drove out of sight
"Tomorrow is Christmas"
"Don't get too drunk tonight!!"

MERRY CHRISTMAS TO EVERYONE IN "GET UP AND GO" LAND

[MinUph]

Excellent 8)

  Merry Christmas to all and to all a good night.

[Cheryl]

Wow Sofadoc!   Awesome lyrics!!!  Merry Christmas to you and yours and everyone here!!

[bobbin]

I do believe that will become a Christmas standard, Sofa.!

[Darren Henry]

A BELATED MERRY CHRISTMAS TO ALL . BEST WISHES FOR YOU AND YOURS IN THE NEW YEAR, AND THANK YOU FOR THE FRIENDSHIP AND HELP THAT WE HAVE SHARED.

He called Darren first
Since he was close by
But he wouldn't help
(And he wouldn't say why)

  :-[ :'( I didn't want to plug my phone into Dad's computer (he's virus paranoid) and I didn't have my room in the trunk for my 111W155.  :-[ If I'd known; I'd have had an excuse to stay home.

[gene]

Excellent prose. I enjoyed it. Thank you.

It has been a long time since I was on the 'nice' list. I almost forgot what it felt like.

gene

[hdflame]

Great job Sofadoc!  I got several chuckles out of that. :P

[stitcher_guy]

Funny read.

[Mojo]

Hilarious.

Awesome job. :)

Chris