Mojo's Friday Funnies

[Mojo]

Two hunters are out in the woods when one of them collapses.
He doesn't seem to be breathing and his eyes are glazed.
The other man pulls out his phone and calls emergency
services.

He gasps to the operator: "My friend is dead! What can
I do?" The operator in a calm, soothing voice replies:
"Take it easy. I can help. First, let's make sure he's
dead."

There is a silence, then a shot is heard.

Back on the phone, the hunter says, "Ok, now what?"

****************

A mechanic was removing a cylinder-head from the motor of a Harley motorcycle when he spotted a w ell-known cardiologist in his shop. The cardiologist was there waiting for the service manager to come and take a look at his bike when the mechanic
shouted across the garage.
"Hey, Doc, want to take a look at this?"

The cardiologist, at bit surprised, walked over to where the mechanic was working on the motorcycle. The mechanic straightened up, wiped his hands on a rag and asked, "So Doc, look at this engine. I open its' heart, take the valves out, repair any damage, and then put them back in, and when I finish, it works just like new. So how come I make $39,675 a year and you get the really big bucks ($1,695,759) when you and I are doing basically the same work?"

The cardiologist paused, smiled and leaned over, then whispered to the mechanic...

"Try doing it with the engine running."

[Darren Henry]

I'm a little late chiming in , but as you've seen I haven't had time to pop in in a couple of weeks.

Jesus in a bar;

An Aussie, an Irishman and a Newfoundlander were sitting in a bar , all looking at another guy across the room who looked familiar. Finally the Irishman pipes up "that's Jesus". They agree and decide to each buy him a beer so send the waitress over with a bottle of Foster's lager,a pint of quiness and a bottle of ten penny. Jesus nods and sips away at the beer. Once he's finished Jesus comes over and shakes the Aussie's hand and thanks him for the lager. The Aussie goes " It's a miracle. My bum knee quit hurting after all these years". He then thanks the Irishman who proclaims " Lord be to paddy; my chronic back back is gone!" . When Jesus turns to the Newphy He dives into the back corner of the booth  screaming " Lord thunderin'  don't touch me man I'm on Worker's comp".

[gene]

A priest, a rabbi, and a protestant minister walk into a bar. The bar tender looks up and says, "Hey, what is this, a joke?"

Yea, I know it's not Friday, also.

Gene

[SHHR]

A horse walks into a bar. The bartender says "Hey buddy why the long face".
Kyle