Friday Funny

[kodydog]

Thanks for the laugh, you out did yourself Steve.

[SteveA]

A Nottingham woman has lost her case at Nottingham magistrates court today after she tried to sue Queens Medical Center after her Husband went in for an operation which left him unable to have sex afterwards. Mrs. Mnger of Bulwell aged 67 said to reporters outside Court this afternoon " me and me 'usband Fred 'ave 'ad bangin sex till 'e went ta 'ospital and 'ad 'is operation. Now 'es not interested 'n me and it's all cause tem docs. 
The surgeon who performed the operation and attended court to give testimony said, " all we did was remove Fred's Cataracts! "

[kodydog]

Oh boy! Poor Fred

[Mojo]

An Engineer dies... and goes to Hell. Dissatisfied with the level of comfort, he starts designing and building improvements. After a while, Hell has air conditioning, flush toilets and escalators.

The engineer is a pretty popular guy.

One day God calls and asks Satan, "So, how's it going down there?"

Satan says, "Hey things are going great. We've got air conditioning and flush toilets and escalators, and there's no telling what this engineer is going to come up with next."

God is horrified. "What? You've got an engineer? That's a mistake - he should never have gone down there! You know all engineers go to Heaven. Send him up here! "

Satan says, "No way. I like having an engineer on the staff. I'm keeping him."

God says, "Send him back up here or I'll sue."

"Yeah, right," Satan laughs, "and where are you going to get a lawyer?"

Mojo

[gene]

True story:

A Wildlife Preservation Office was showing us an owl that had been injured and lived at the animal shelter. He said owls are the only natural predator to skunks. Most injured owls that they get stink like skunks. He said owls catch most of their prey from sound and not sight. Owls have great hearing and great vision. But when it comes to smell, owls don't give a hoot.

gene

[SteveA]

COINCIDENCE

A chicken farmer went to the local bar. He sat next to a woman and ordered champagne.

The woman said : "How strange, I also just ordered a glass of champagne."

"What a coincidence," said the farmer, who added, "It is a special day for me. I am celebrating"

"It is a special day for me too, I am also celebrating!" said the woman.

"What a coincidence." said the farmer.

While they toasted, the farmer asked, "What are you celebrating?"

"My husband and I have been trying to have a child for years, and today, my gynecologist told me that I was pregnant."

"What a coincidence," said the man. "I am a chicken farmer and for years all my hens were infertile, but now they are all set to lay fertilized eggs."

"This is awesome," said the woman. "What did you do for your chickens to become fertile?"

"I used a different rooster," he said.


The woman smiled and said, "What a coincidence."