Help the helper?

[sofadoc]

I have a helper who has worked for me for over 10 years. Usually just pick up & delivery, and other general 'grunt' work.
Up until recently, he lived just down the street from my shop........with his mother.........he's 44 years old.
He lost an eye several years ago, so he gets a disability check from Uncle Sam. He has no car, or any other expenses to speak of. All he wants out of life is a little food in his belly, a pack of cigs, and an ample supply of brewskies.

He has been quite content to work a few hours a week for me. He also picks up a few other odd jobs in the area.

His mother finally decided that it was time he 'left the nest', so he moved into a seedy hotel out on the highway.

Now, he comes in trying to bum a little money off me for food. But when I see a full pack of cigs in his pocket, I have no sympathy for him. Just prior to entering my shop, he had money for food, and he opted for cigs.

He also expects me to assure him work now, since he has to walk clear across town just to get to my shop.
Again, I don't consider that to be my problem.

Should I show him more consideration? Or continue giving him 'tough love'?

[Kevinsews]

The fact that his mother kicked him out is a bad sign.  Maybe she is trying to get him motivated, or maybe he is up to no good in her home. We've had several helpers like this over the years, and I'm sad to say their circumstances get worse.  They get more desperate and resort to stealing in the end.  Use caution.

[gene]

Hey Kevin, I think that his mother letting him live there until he is 44 is a bad sign! LOL

To quote, once again, my business adviser: "You can be a nice guy, or you can be a businessman. You can be a businessman who's a nice guy, but which one do you want running your business?"

Sounds like a good time to clarify your working relationship with him. Let him know exactly what you have to offer him.

I would also want to make sure he realizes work is for work, not a replacement for mom's house.

Would a bit of a raise be appropriate to address his longer walk, express appreciation for his willingness to work,  and to also clarify the boundaries, or details of the working relationship?

I'm lucky to have a few folks available to help with pick up and deliveries. I could have a few more but I don't want smokers in my studio.

gene

[JDUpholstery]

sounds like a conundrum to me...it is nice having a helper who does not require nor expect a full time job...little extra cash now and again when you need him....but on the other hand if he now thinks that you owe him for some reason, you might want to quash that while you still can!

[sofadoc]

Would a bit of a raise be appropriate to address his longer walk, express appreciation for his willingness to work,  and to also clarify the boundaries, or details of the working relationship?

He also does odd jobs for a paint store, and a carpet store that are around the corner from my shop. I pay him $15 hr. They pay him strictly minimum wage.

I used to use him for stripping furniture. But frankly, he just sucks at it. So I just use him for PU/DEL, and general clean-up work around the shop (sweeping, moving, organizing).

He gets about 5 hrs. per week from me now.
If he was any good at stripping, I could probably give him 20 hours a week at HIS convenience. But he takes too long, makes a huge mess, and does damage to the furniture that I have to repair. And to top it off, I have to go behind him, and finish pulling all the staples that he missed.

You might be thinking "Gee Doc, why don't you train him how to do it properly?"
Well, he used to be pretty good at it. But he has regressed dramatically over the years.
I don't want to reward his regression with a raise. Especially since I'm already paying him twice what he's worth.

He isn't good for more than an hour or 2 at a time. He starts getting nervous and jittery. Like he needs a cigarette (or something a little stronger). The other stores say the same thing. The longer you use him, the worse he gets.   

[Mojo]

I would say, based on his actions and working demeanor he should be thankful he has a job. Especially considering he gets $ 15 per hour for unskilled labor.

There must be a hidden reason as to why his Mom sent him packing and " getting out on your own and being independent " ma not be one of the the reasons. Do you suspect any drug use ? If so then that is a " No-Go" with me. I would send him packing in a heart beat if that was the case.

I wouldn't give him a dime more and to be honest Dennis I think your being very gracious just for keeping him around.

Chris

[Mike]

If i coulafford it and thought he was worth it i migh go the raise idea. Ut i agree ciggs and no food.
I have a friend up north nice tuy good job lived st home. Till i moved then he found a woman to hang out with. Last summer they got married. Bought a condo. At 56. Finnwly is seeing what the rest of the world has with  bills food light heat ect.

[JDUpholstery]

I have a cousin, I think he is in his early 50s...has always lived at home...has a PHD and like 3 additional masters degrees....my uncle built a new house, and gave my cousin his old house (in hopes he would live on his own), cousin sold the house and moved back in with them! some people just wont leave the nest, he has a good job, works hard, just wont leave home!

[byhammerandhand]

Word of the day (for Gene)

Lumpenproletariat


It's not that uncommon.   My son-in-law has an uncle who has a PhD in some science or another. Story is when he took the SAT, he came home and told his mother that "he missed one."   She said, "Nobody just misses one."  But he was right, he missed exactly one question.    He's well into his 50s and I don't think he's ever held a job for the 15 years I've known him.   His dad (in his 90s) sends him money to live on.  Smart, but socially and economically dysfunctional.

http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Lumpenproletariat

[gene]

Hey, I just called someone a lumpenproletariat the other day.

I noticed that in Marx's description he did not include upholsterers.  :D

Smart, but socially and economically dysfunctional.

Sometimes this is a good thing. Ted Kazinski has the intelligence to understand rocket science, and the manual dexterity to build rockets - or bombs. He's currently serving 8 consecutive life sentences in Federal prison.

gene

[byhammerandhand]

I thought this covered upholsterers?  "lost to socially useful production"

[kodydog]

Every type of society, communist,  Marxist, sot, capitalist, et al will have their lumpenproletriats to deal with.

Sofa, help him if you feel an urgent need to do so. But remember charity will only help to perpetuate the wretchedness he finds himself in.

Is S-o-c-i-a-l-i-s-t a dirty word? This program will not let me write it.

The place I work has an upholsterer lumpenproletriat working for them. Every time he gets a few dollars in his pocket he misses a day or two of work. And every time the boss comes up to me and swears he is going to fire him. But every time they take him back.

[JDUpholstery]

my skilled upholsterer is like that, works when he feels like it...I came darn close to firing him, but a good friend and very successful business man stopped me from doing so by saying that I would not find another skilled upholsterer in this area...so rather than firing him, just don't rely on him....work his ass off when he is there and don't get stressed when he isnt.....I just schedule jobs as if I was the only one working and if he shows up and we get done early, it makes me look good

[Mike]

Every type of society, communist,  Marxist, sot, capitalist, et al will have their lumpenproletriats to deal with.

Sofa, help him if you feel an urgent need to do so. But remember charity will only help to perpetuate the wretchedness he finds himself in.

Is S-o-c-i-a-l-i-s-t a dirty word? This program will not let me write it.

The place I work has an upholsterer lumpenproletriat working for them. Every time he gets a few dollars in his pocket he misses a day or two of work. And every time the boss comes up to me and swears he is going to fire him. But every time they take him back.

sot me neither
social ist