Mojo's Tuesday Pick-Me-Up

[Mojo]

An elderly man in Louisiana had owned a large farm for several years.

He had a large pond in the back. It was properly shaped for swimming, so he fixed it up nice with picnic tables, horseshoe courts, and some apple, and peach trees.

One evening the old farmer decided to go down to the pond, as he hadn't been there for a while, and l...ook it over.

He grabbed a five-gallon bucket to bring back some fruit.

As he neared the pond, he heard voices shouting and laughing with glee.

As he came closer, he saw it was a bunch of young women skinny-dipping in his pond.

He made the women aware of his presence and they all went to the deep end.

One of the women shouted to him, 'we're not coming out until you leave!'

The old man frowned, 'I didn't come down here to spy on you and watch ya'll ladies swim naked.'

Holding the bucket up he said, 'I'm just here to feed the alligator..

[BigJohn]

The wise old fishermen


A guy is 75 years  old and loves to fish.

He was sitting in  his boat the other day
when he heard a voice  say,

'Pick me  up.'

He looked around  and couldn't see
anyone.

He thought he was  dreaming when he
heard the voice say again,

'Pick me  up.'

He looked in the  water and there, floating
on the top, was a frog.

The man said,  'Are you talking to me?'

The frog said, 'Yes, I'm talking to  you.'   

Pick me up then,  kiss me and I'll turn into
the most beautiful woman you have ever
seen.

I'll make sure that all your friends are
envious and jealous  because I will be your
bride!'

The man looked at the frog for a  short
time, reached over,  picked it up carefully,
and placed it in his front pocket.

The frog  said, 'What, are you nuts?
Didn't you hear what I said? I said kiss
me and I will be your beautiful bride.'

He opened his pocket,  looked at the frog
and said,  'Nah, at my age I'd rather have a
talking frog.'
   
With  age comes wisdom.