Mojo's Friday Funnies

[Mojo]

George the bagpiper gets called to play at many events.

Recently he was asked by a funeral director to play at a graveside service for a rural man with no family.

He had no family or friends, so the service was to be at a pauper's cemetery in the Kentucky back country.

As he was not familiar with the backwoods, he got lost and, being a typical male, didn't stop for directions.

He finally arrived an hour late and saw the funeral guy had evidently gone and the hearse was nowhere in sight.

There were only the diggers and crew left and they were eating lunch.

He felt badly and apologized to the men for being late.

He went to the side of the grave and looked down and seen the vault lid was already in place.

He didn't know what else to do, so he started to play.

The workers put down their lunches and began to gather around.

He played his heart and soul out for this man with no family and friends.

He played like he never played.

As he played 'Amazing Grace,' the workers began to weep.

They wept, he wept, they all wept together.

When he finished he packed up his bagpipes and started for his car.

Though his head hung low, his heart was full.

As he opened the door to his car, he heard one of the workers say, "I never seen nothin' like that before and I've been putting in septic tanks for twenty years."


*******************

Three women die together in an accident and go to heaven.

When they get there, St. Peter says 'We only have one rule here in heaven: Don't step on the ducks!'

So they enter heaven, and sure enough, There are ducks all over the place. It is almost impossible not to step on a duck,

And although they try their best to avoid them, The first woman accidentally steps on one.

Along comes St. Peter with the ugliest man she ever saw. St. Peter chains them together and says,
"Your punishment for stepping on a duck is to spend eternity chained to this ugly man!"

The next day, the second woman steps accidentally on a duck

Along comes St. Peter, who doesn't miss a thing. With him is another extremely ugly man.

He chains them together with the same admonishment as for the first woman.

The third woman has observed all this and, not wanting to be chained for all eternity to an ugly man, is very, VERY careful where she steps.

She manages to go months without stepping on any ducks, but one day St.Peter comes up to her with the most handsome man she has ever laid eyes on .... Very tall, long eyelashes, muscular.

St. Peter chains them together without saying a word.

The happy woman says, "I wonder what I did to deserve being Chained to you for all of eternity?"

The guy says, "I don't know about you, But I stepped on a Duck."


Have a great weekend evereyone. :)

Chris

[kodydog]

My wife must have stepped on a duck our wedding day.