Friday Funny

[byhammerandhand]

An older woman goes in to the doctor for her Medicare Physical.  When the doctor was nearly done, he asked, "Do you have any health concerns?"

She said, "Well, I do have these 'micro-toots.'"

The doc asked her to explain.

"Well, I have these little farts a lot.  I call them 'micro toots' because they don't smell at all and don't make any sound.   In fact, I had a few while you were doing my pelvic exam."

"I see," said the doc, "let me prescribe these pills for you and I'd like you to come back to see me in two weeks."

She comes back in two weeks.  "Doc," she says, "I don't know what was in those pills but boy my micro-toots really smell bad now.  I mean really, really, bad."

The doc says, "OK, I think we have your sinuses cleared up now, let's refer you to get a hearing check."

[gene]

The older I get the less humor I find in geriatric oriented jokes.   :)

gene

[byhammerandhand]

OK, then,

An older young woman goes in to the doctor for her annual Medicare Physical.  When the doctor was nearly done, he asked, "Do you have any health concerns?"

She said, "Well, I do have these 'micro-toots.'"

The doc asked her to explain.

"Well, I have these little farts a lot.  I call them 'micro toots' because they don't smell at all and don't make any sound.   In fact, I had a few while you were doing my pelvic exam."

"I see," said the doc, "let me prescribe these pills for you and I'd like you to come back to see me in two weeks."

She comes back in two weeks.  "Doc," she says, "I don't know what was in those pills but boy my micro-toots really smell bad now.  I mean really, really, bad."

The doc says, "OK, I think we have your sinuses cleared up now, let's refer you to get a hearing check."

[Darren Henry]

A guy goes to his doctor and says he wants to get his wife a hearing aid as her hearing is getting pretty bad. The doctor tells him to go home and measure how close he has to be for her to hear him if she's not looking, so he can order the correct strength. When he gets home his wife is in the kitchen with her back to him making supper. PERFECT. He quietly closes the front door and asks "what's for supper?". Nothing. He creeps half way across the living room and again asks "what's for supper?". Still nothing.  finally he stomps up to within 3 feet of her and raises his voice a little "What's for supper?!".

She spins around and glares at him [you married guys know "the look"], "FOR THE THIRD TIME, I SAID CHICKEN .....you deaf old cus!"

[byhammerandhand]

Had some surgery this week.  Last week, I went in to do the pre-op check up.   One of the questions I got was, "Do you have a hearing problem, and I don't mean what your wife thinks.."

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=x_HvPmd9L9o

[gene]

Thank you Keith for your redaction.

I was listening to a Ted talk on happiness. The speaker asked the audiance to raise their hand if they believed that love could bring happiness. He than said, "Ma'am, raising your husbands' hand does not count."  :)

I wonder what similar jokes hearing impaired folks tell?

gene

[byhammerandhand]

In heaven, there were two huge signs. The first read, Men Who Did What Their Wives Told Them to Do. The line of men under this sign stretched as far as the eye could see. The second sign stated, Men Who Did What They Wanted to Do. Only one man stood under that sign. Intrigued, St. Peter said to the lone man, "No one has ever stood under this sign. Tell me about yourself." The man shrugged and said, "Not much to say; my wife told me to stand here."