monday funny

[Mike]

a boy goes to the confessional......




"Bless me Father, for I have sinned. I have been with a loose girl."

The priest asks, "Is that you, little Joey Pagano?"


"Yes, Father, it is."

"And who was the girl you were with?"

"I can't tell you, Father. I don't want to ruin her reputation."

"Well, Joey, I'm sure to find out her name sooner or later so you may as well tell me now. Was it Tina Minetti?"

"I cannot say."

"Was it Teresa Mazzarelli?"

"I'll never tell."

"Was it Nina Capelli?"

"I'm sorry, but I cannot name her."

"Was it Cathy Piriano?"

"My lips are sealed."

"Was it Rosa DiAngelo, then?"

"Please, Father! I cannot tell you."

The priest sighs in frustration. "You're very tight lipped, and I admire that. But you've sinned and have to atone. You cannot be an altar boy now for 4 months. Now you go and behave yourself."

Joey walks back to his pew, and his friend Franco slides over and whispers, "What'd you get?"

"Four months vacation and five good leads..."

[Mojo]

Being a Catholic, I loved this one............LOL......:)

Chris

[SteveA]

While on vacation in Rome , I noticed a marble column in St. Peter's with a golden telephone on it.
As a young priest passed by, I asked what the telephone was for. The priest told
me it was a direct line to heaven, and if I'd like to call, it would be a thousand dollars.
I was amazed, but declined the offer.
Throughout Italy , I kept seeing the same golden telephones on marble columns.
At each, I asked about it and the answer was always the same: It was a direct
line to heaven and I could call for a thousand dollars.
Then - I   continued my tour and arrived in Israel. I decided to attend
temple   services at a local synagogue. As I walked in the door I
noticed the same   golden telephone. Underneath it there was a sign
stating: "DIRECT LINE TO   HEAVEN: 25 cents."
"Rabbi," I said, "I have just been all over   Italy
and in all the cathedrals I visited, I've seen telephones exactly
like this one. But the price is always a thousand dollars. Why is it
that   this telephone is only 25 cents?"
The rabbi
smiled   and said,  "You're in Israel now. . . .It's a local
call." =