Mojo's Tuesday Pick-Me-Up

[Mojo]

Never Argue with a Woman

One morning, the husband returns the boat to their lakeside cottage after several hours of fishing and decides to take a nap.

Although not familiar with the lake, the wife decides to take the boat out. She motors out a short distance, anchors, puts her feet up, and begins to read her book. The peace and solitude are magnificent.

Along comes a Fish and Game Warden in his boat.
He pulls up alongside the woman and says, 'Good morning, Ma'am. What are you doing?'

'Reading a book,' she replies, (thinking, 'Isn't that obvious?')

'You're in a Restricted Fishing Area,' he informs her.

'I'm sorry, officer, but I'm not fishing. I'm reading.'

'Yes, but I see you have all the equipment. For all I know you could start at any moment. I'll have to take you in and write you up.'

'If you do that, I'll have to charge you with sexual assault,' says the woman.

'But I haven't even touched you,' says the Game Warden.

'That's true, but you have all the equipment..
For all I know you could start at any moment.'

'Have a nice day ma'am,' and he left.

MORAL:
Never argue with a woman who reads.
It's likely she can also think.

*******************************

A married couple are traveling by car from Victoria to Prince George. (Canada)
Being seniors, after almost eleven hours on the road, they were too tired to continue, and decided to take a room.
But, they only planned to sleep for four hours and then get back on the road.
When they checked out four hours later, the desk clerk handed them a bill for $350
The man explodes and demands to know why the charge is so high.
He told the clerk although it's a nice hotel; the rooms certainly aren't worth $350 for four hours.
Then the clerk tells him that $350 is the 'standard rate'.
He insisted on speaking to the Manager.
The Manager appears, listens to him, and then explains that the hotel has an Olympic-sized pool
and a huge conference center that were available for us to use.
But we didn't use them," the husband said.
''Well, they are here, and you could have," explained the Manager.
The Manager went on to explain that the couple could also have taken in one of the shows for which the hotel is famous.
Only the best entertainers from New York, Hollywood and Las Vegas perform here," the Manager says.

"But we didn't go to any of those shows," the husband said.
"Well, we have them, and you could have," the Manager replied.
No matter what amenity the Manager mentioned, the husband replied, "But we didn't use it!"
The Manager is unmoved, and eventually the husband gave up and agreed to pay.
As he didn't have the check book he asked his wife to write the check.
She did and gave it to the Manager.

The Manager is surprised when he looks at the check. "But ma'am, this is only made out for $50."
''That's correct. I charged you $300 for sleeping with me," she replied.
"But I didn't!" exclaims the Manager.
"Well, too bad, I was here, and you could have."

[kodydog]

funny, funny, funny.

http://www.funnyordie.com/videos/0ff85dd3c8/between-two-ferns-with-zach-galifianakis?rel=by_user

[BigJohn]

My friends will enjoy today's crop of jokes!

                              Big John