A bit of a dilemma

[kodydog]

Like many of you our business has been on and off the last couple years. Last November I decided to start looking for a job working for some one else. Sent out a ton of resumes and met a lot of interesting people. I got several job offers but because our business was good I could afford to be  picky. January I saw a job posted on the Internet that said, experienced upholsterer needed for high end workroom, good pay and benefits, in South Florida. I called the guy and told him about myself and my experience. He said the job was already filled but I should send him my resume and he would keep it on file. One month Later he calls and says he thinks I would be a good fit for his company, could I come to Deerfield Beach for an Interview. I live in North Florida, six hours away. 

We met and hit it off well. He has a huge workroom, state of the art. Most of his work comes from decorators. A lot of his work is in window treatments. He has about 12 employees. He dose mostly window treatments but has enough furniture work to keep two upholsteres busy. I've worked for him for 5 weeks now.  I'm staying in my camper in a county park in Lake Worth.

My wife is running our business and telling customers I have a temp. job in S. Fl. I go home every weekend and do as much work as I can in a day and a half.

Its time to get serious and start looking for a house. Here's the problem. My wife has been down several times and she dose not like it here. June and all you other South Floridians please don't take offence, S. Fl is beautiful, has great weather and tons to offer, but we come from the small rural town of Live Oak. and finding it real hard to adjust to all the crowds, and traffic (work is a 30 min. drive on I-95) although this would be temporary. The Houses we could afford are very small on postage stamp lots. I know its real easy to say will why don't you just pack up and head on back home. The job pays really well the other employees are friendly and the boss loves my work. I don't know if I'll get another opportunity like this again.

I guess the question is should I try to talk my wife into moving down hear knowing she may not be able to adjust or go home and look for other options 

[sofadoc]

If Mama ain't happy......ain't NOBODY happy. :(

[DBR1957]

Tough one. You're trying to do the right thing and provide the best you can
for your family. However, the requirements for you to do that are putting a
strain on your home life, your own business and eventually your well-being.

It might sound crazy, but have you considered addressing this with your new
boss? Maybe he has some suggestions. Sounds like your relationship with him
is pretty good.

Are you and the missus rural people since birth? Is home in a comfort zone for
you? The wife state any other objections besides the different culture aspect?

[fms]

are you in an area that has east coast snowbirds? if so your wife might like it after May when they fly back to our area . I get by May through Sept but love The off season. By the way I find this web site very helpfull thank-you's to every one that shares.

[bobbin]

Given the rather grim real estate market these days would it be possible for you to pick up an inexpensive rental (as opposed to buying) in the area  so your wife could move there and "test the waters" for a predetermined amount of time?

It is incalculably important to be happy and content at home.  I really believe that because coming "home" after a tough day at work can make all the difference in the world (trust me on this).  And when you're one half of a marriage it means you have to consider the spouse's perspective, too. 

I don't know what your circumstances dictate with respect to money, but sometimes it's important to "suck it up" and do what must be done to get to the long range place you want to be. 

I have had to live in places that didn't really "please" me because I had a long term goal in mind and the price was right.  But I was always able to find some redeeming quality in every location.  There were times when I had to look harder than others, but every area has some manifest "plum" to offer.  I think your wife will understand those things, from what you've shared about her. 

[JuneC]

Oh, that's a tough one for sure.  There's not much "small town" about this area, but there are pockets here and there where you'll find more of a small town attitude (though you do need to get out into the thick of it to buy groceries, see the doctor, etc.).  The culture in this part of Florida is predominantly NorthEast US - New York, New Jersey.  Thankfully, as fms says, they mostly go home after Easter and we get our peace and quiet back. 

I don't envy you in making that decision.  I'm from a small town too, but I've been here since Boca Raton WAS a small town so have grown accustomed while the area has become overpopulated.  The area has a lot to offer, but a rural lifestyle isn't one of them unless you have $$$ to spend to buy into areas like Parkland.  Davie is a "horse town" where riders are a common sight and homesteads are less $ but it's southwest of Deerfield and the traffic getting there and back would also be a nightmare. 

I'd suggest to keep doing what you're doing now for another 3 or 4 weeks, then have her come down and drive around out west to get a feel for the less congested areas.  The areas can be dramatically different and it's not apparent till you actually go through them.  For instance, Boca Raton shares a border with Delray Beach and West Boca is VERY congested.  But when you cross into Delray Beach, it turns into farmland and horse ranches.  You might still end up on a small parcel of land, but the atmosphere is quite different.

June

[Mike8560]

Sound s like a decision your going to have to make for yourself
though you'd probly be best to lookk like was said after the snowbirds leave it's nice over here too when they leave you can go to the outback steakhouse again. They sit outside waiting to eat. Not  me.
What do you call a postage size lot ? Most are 85 bt 125  feet   

[kodydog]

Sofadoc you hit the nail right on the head. My wife says I'm the main breadwinner and I can make the final decision. One of the most important things in my life is that she is happy.

DBR  My boss was making plains to build up his upholstery business which included giving me more responsibility. I felt it my duty to tell him things might not work out. I made sure to tell him it had nothing to do with his business. He was disappointed and asked me to stay on as long as I could. We have lived in the big city before. My wife is from Philly and I grew up in St Petersburg Fl where we met. Moving to Live Oak was our way to get away from it all, and we plan to keep it as a retreat.

FMS the funny thing is when I made reservations at the campground there weren't any openings. I had to call every day till something opened up. Now the place is half empty. Everybody's from Quebec. Any body out their speak French

Bobbin as always you make some good points. It is a buyers market for real estate. Unfortunately so many people have given up their homes and rentals are at a premium. The thing is if we decide to rent for 6 months to a year we'd have to close up shop. If we found we didn't like it their it would be difficult to restart the business. This move would be a big commitment.

June your insight is very helpful. My wife could spend several hours talking your ear off. I'll check out those areas you mentioned but we figured if we're going to move to S. Fl we might as well live close to the beach. Bocas beach is beautiful and I fished off the Pompano Beach Pier. Theirs an area called the Cove in Deerfield that looks interesting.

Mike my wife spent some time looking at houses with a Realtor. We hear about all these great bargains in S. Fl. One house, a repo, sits on a 75' X 100' lot. 2 bed 1 bath fixer uper. AC doesn't work. Asking $145 K. Needs about $20 K in work. Plus IMOP another bedroom and bath. Maybe I'm out of touch but that seems overpriced. The Realtor says your paying for location (6 blocks from the beach)

Its a complicated situation and a decision we'll have to make. Thanks for your help ya'll. I'll keep in touch.

[kodydog]

One more week and I'm home for good. This is the first weekend I haven't made the 6 hr. trip home. Also the first weekend I haven't had to work ether Sat. or Sun in... God knows how long. So I'm making the most of it.

Got up early Sat. and headed for a waterside park in West Palm Beach to do a little kayak/fishing. Upon arrival I discovered the waterway was so overrun with big boats a kayak wouldn't stand a chance. I called my wife in N. Fl. and told her about the beautiful park right on Lake Worth with Million dollar mansions on the other side of the bay. I was making a last ditch effort to get her to see what this area has to offer.

Next I headed to the beach to look for other kayak opportunities. Half way across the Southern Blvd. Bridge are several mangrove islands with a parking area so I stopped. Apparently this is a hot spot for kayakers as their were 15 or 20 paddlers. After fishing for about an hour I called my wife again to rub in my good time a little deeper. Told her about the barren islands the fresh air and what a beautiful day it was.  After fishing for three hours (all I caught was a good sun burn) I decided to head to the beach and look for someplace to eat.

When I hit A1A I turned south. This stretch of the highway runs right along the Atlantic Ocean and it was the deepest most beautiful color of emerald green I've ever seen. Another phone call. I think the wife was getting tired of my calls because I got the machine. I left a message.

In the little town of Lantana I found an open air, water side restaurant and bar on the west side of the inter-coastal waterway. When I stepped through the door it was like walking into Margherita Ville, the place was hoping and I Instantly felt at home. I ordered a fish taco and a Yuengling draft. Time for another phone call. This time she answered and confessed she was getting a little jealous. The band was playing Hotel California and I could barley hear her so I said I'd call back later.

When I got back to the camper I called once more and she said maybe S Fl. wouldn't be such a bad place to live after all. We went around the same familiar circle we've traveled many times these past six weeks and finally decided N. Fl is more our stile. She said her favorite place in Fl is St Augustin.
   
:-* 8) moving right along
Sounds like another adventure.

[JuneC]

So you found the Old Key Lime House in Lantana  8)  That's about 3 minutes from my shop.  Great spot for lunch.  I have to admit, St. Augustine is beautiful, though.  Good luck in your search for your next venue.  I'm sure you'll find someplace that's just right for both of you.

June

[Mojo]

Desperate times sometimes require desperate measures.    ;D

I can appreciate how your wife feels. 5 years ago I was in the same position as her. My wife took a math teaching position at a Catholic High School in Springhill. She was going to teach for one year and then we were going to return back to our home in Bristol, TN. That was 5 years ago and I am still in Florida. :) After the one year they gave her a raise and made her department chair. She also fell in love with the school and the kids and was not crazy about going back home.

In the meantime I hated Florida. I hated the heat, the congestion, all the old people, the rudeness, etc. But I also had to be fair to my wife. She is younger then I am and will be working for 10 more years. I am retired so I decided that I needed to be supportive of her and stay here. I lived in our coach for 3 years in an RV resort and we went home in the summertime.

In the 5 years since, I have gotten to the point I do not mind Florida. I still hate the heat but have settled in and carved out a life for myself. I did what you did, discovered new areas to enjoy, got more into motorcycles, met some friends and now I feel I have a life. :)

In life there are two things you can do. Follow the crowd or head out on your own and find new places that jive with your spirit. I have never been a follower and instead I make my own tracks in life. I think in time your wife will grow to enjoy that area. I used to live in Port St. Lucie 125 years ago. :) That whole area has a lot of great things to do.

Florida is NOT a place to be looking for a job at the moment so you may want to consider hanging on to what you have.  I wish you both the best.

Chris

[Mike8560]

I don't know how smallive oak is but I used to live in mass cerry busy and moved to Alton bay ne back in 81 we did t have a li xa joint or a traffic lite. I adjusted in time. And we did get a pizza place and a mickey dees  after o moved here to Florida I likes the access to everything without having to drive far   Its a fairly bust town  not like ft myers or sarrasotta. And you can jusdri e a few miles and be totally secluded and in places with a small town feel.  I'd have to think long  and hard also about the job
good luck with your future.   

[regalman190]

Hey kodydog!

How about an in between solution? How about if you make an arrangement with the owner to pick up the work once a week, or every two weeks, take it back to your shop, and return it the following trip.
I know you're still making that drive, but at least your still with your family, and in an area you like.
You never know.