Mojo's Friday Funnies ( 5 - 25 )

[Mojo]

I thought instead of posting a joke, I would post this 911 call of some idiot with a Ferrari.  It reminds me of why some people should not be allowed to have a drivers license.

Enjoy,

Chris

The 911 call:

http://www.break.com/index/911-call-after-ferrari-mangled-by-train.html

[wind_rose_2]

Chris;
Did you get his number..there is good money in Ferrari upholstery!
Dave

[wind_rose_2]

Apologies if this offends anyone. But it is funnie!
Dave

Weekend Assignment

The kids filed back into class Monday morning.  They were very excited.

Their weekend assignment was to sell something, then give a talk on
productive salesmanship.

Little Sally led off: "I sold girl scout cookies and I made $30," she
said proudly, "My sales approach was to appeal to the customer's civil spirit
and I credit that approach for my obvious success."

"Very good," said the teacher.

Little Jenny was next:

"I sold magazines," she said, "I made $45 and I explained to everyone
that magazines would keep them up on current events."

"Very good, Jenny," said the teacher.

Eventually, it was Little Johnny's turn.

The teacher held her breath ...
Little Johnny walked to the front of the classroom and dumped a box full
of cash on the teacher's desk. "$2,467," he said.

"$2,467!" cried the teacher, "What in the world were you selling?"

"Toothbrushes," said Little Johnny.

"Toothbrushes!" echoed the teacher, "How could you possibly sell enough
tooth brushes to make that much money?"

"I found the busiest corner in town," said Little Johnny, "I set up a Dip
& Chip stand and gave everybody who walked by a free sample."

They all said the same thing, "Hey, this tastes like dog shit!"

Then I would say,"It is dog shit. Wanna buy a toothbrush?"

"I used the governmental approach of giving you something shitty for free, and then making you pay to get the taste out of your mouth."

[wind_rose_2]

Scam targeting older men


Clever Scam - taking advantage of older men

Women often receive warnings about protecting themselves at the
mall and in dark parking lots, etc. This is the first warning I have
seen for men. I wanted to pass it on in case you haven't heard about it.

A 'heads up' for those men who may be regular Lowe's or Home Depot customers. This one caught me by surprise.

Over the last month I became a victim of a clever scam while out shopping. Simply going out to get supplies
has turned out to be quite traumatic. Don't  be naive enough to think it couldn't happen to you or your friends.

Here's how the scam works:

Two seriously good-looking 20-something girls come over to your car as you are packing your shopping into the trunk. They both start wiping your windshield with a rag and Windex, with their breasts almost falling out of their skimpy T-shirts. It is impossible not to look. When you thank them and offer them a tip, they say, 'No' and instead ask you for a ride to McDonald's.

You agree and they get into the back seat. On the way, they start
undressing. Then one of them climbs over into the front seat and starts crawling all over you, while the other one steals your wallet. I had my wallet stolen June 4th, 9th, 10th, twice on the 15th, 17th, 20th, 24th, & 29th. Also July 1st & 4th, twice on the 8th, 16th, 23rd, 26th & 28th, three times last Monday and very likely again this upcoming weekend.

So tell your friends to be careful. What a horrible way to take
advantage of older men. Warn your friends to be vigilant.

Wal-Mart has wallets on sale for $2.99 each. I found cheaper ones for
$1.99 at Dollar General and the Dollar Store and bought them out. Also, you never will get to
eat at McDonald's. I've already lost 11 pounds just running back
and forth to Lowe's and Home Depot.

[Cheryl]

Scam??  Sounds like every old mans dream!   

What I cant figure out is WHY those girls would keep coming back..  unless he was putting plenty of $$ in those new wallets! ;-)

ROFL!!!