Friday Funny

[byhammerandhand]

Three guys were on a business trip when one of them sees a sign, "Louisville   10 miles"

"Oh," the first one says, "we're coming up on 'Louis-ville.'"

The second guy laughs and says, "No, it was named after a French king, it's pronounced, 'Louie-ville.'"

The third one says "You guys are nuts, nobody there pronounces it either way, it's "Lou-ah-vulle.'"

They decided it was time to stop for lunch and the winner would get his lunch paid by the other two.   They pull into a restaurant and tell the host , "Now we have a lunch riding on this bet, would you slowly pronounce the name of this place?"

He looks puzzled and slowly says, "Ol-ive Gar-den."

[byhammerandhand]

A wife was making a breakfast of fried eggs for her husband.
Suddenly, her husband burst into the kitchen. "Careful," he started, "CAREFUL! Put in some more butter! Oh my gosh! You're cooking too many at once. TOO MANY! Turn them! TURN THEM NOW! We need more butter. Oh my gosh! WHERE are we going to get MORE BUTTER? They're going to STICK! Careful. CAREFUL! I said be CAREFUL! You NEVER listen to me when you're cooking! Never! Turn them! Hurry up! Are you CRAZY? Have you LOST your mind? Don't forget to salt them. You know you always forget to salt them. Use. The. Salt. USE THE SALT! THE SALT!"
The wife stared at him, irritated and bewildered.  "What in the world is wrong with you? You think I don't know how to fry a couple of eggs?"
The husband calmly replied, "I just wanted to show you what it feels like when I'm driving."