Things that make you laugh, cry, or burn.

[byhammerandhand]

 Not exactly upholstery, but I think we can all relate (with minimal translformation)

[sofadoc]

#4 reminds me of antique (junk) dealers.

"If you could do MY work cheaper........... I could send you a LOT of business!"

Sure, let me drop everything, and jump on that "honey of a deal".

[SteveA]

# 11 - what time are you coming - I can't stay home all day
# 12 - I called you this morning and you haven't called back - do you want the job or not
# 13 - Can you take your shoes off
# 14 - Don't talk too loud the babies sleeping
# 15 - Can you start it today
# 16 - Do you think it worth it or should I buy new
# 17 - My sister only paid $ 350.00 for everything
# 18 - Can you come on Sunday
# 19- How long will it take - I need it before the Holiday
# 20 - The other guy offers free cushions
# 21 - does that include the refinishing
# 22 - It wasn't loose before you looked underneath
# 23 - Can we save the sales tax + delivery

[byhammerandhand]

#24  If I pay you cash, can you do it cheaper?  [so you want me to lie and cheat the government, but not you?]
#25  Oh, it costs you less because you can just write it off.  [you obviously don't understand how this works; it's not free]
#26  Can you come in the evening, I work all day  [Geez, I have a hard enough time finding your house in the daytime because there's no visible street number on your house, mailbox, garage, yard rock, curb]
#27 Don't mind the dogs.  [I would if they would get their nose out of my butt]
#28 Don't mind the cats.  [OK, then would you get it out of the inside of this piece before I staple the dust cover back on?]
#29 Wow, I only paid $399 for it.  [So if you found a box of parts on the curb, you'd want me to assemble and fix it for free?]
#39  I'll be home in 10 minutes [a. it's never 10 minutes, usually 30.  b. we did have an appointment, not a window, I'm here on time, where are you?  c. So you're time is more important that mine?  d. I'm stuck here waiting.  If you were home waiting on me, well, you're home and can do whatever you want.]
#30  OMG, I forgot all about our appointment. 

[gene]

I'm dealing with someone who says they do not pay sales tax.

The state says you pay sales tax or you give me a tax exempt form filled out with your tax exempt number and your signature. Then you do not pay sales tax.

If you have a problem with this, take it up with the state. Don't waste my time with your ignorance.
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Note: Ignorance is not only when we do not know something. Ignorance is also when we choose to not know something.
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#31. I can't make money reselling this if you charge me that much.
My response: Let's see. I loose money so you can make money. Or, you loose money so I can make money. Hum? These are win/lose situations. Here's a win/win situation: I have nothing for you and you have nothing for me.
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We are in a society where many people look for deals. I think this is the primary reason so many people get ripped off in buying stuff. They feel good about getting a deal but ignore all the other details that show they clearly paid more than they needed to. A widget sells for $100 and another widget sells for $120 with a 10% discount. TAKE THE DISCOUNT!!!

gene

[byhammerandhand]

"20% off every day.'  [so then the real price is that, not the pre-discount price?]

There is a furniture store in town that ends their commercials, "Get the guaranteed low price or it's free."    I have yet to figure out exactly what that means.   Nope, that's the guaranteed low price, sir, I guarantee it, it's low.


Oh, I and I had a similar customer regarding sales tax.  I tried to coach them on how to fill it out.  They finally sent me a form with the reason for tax exemption simply saying "retail."  I gave up.   I accepted their form in good faith and that fulfilled my duty.  On the other hand, I've had some large customers that were legitimately tax exempt and I could not get them to file the form.

[sofadoc]

"Do you charge sales tax?"..................No I don't "charge" it, I merely "collect" it.

"Can you wait on us? We're leaving our house right now".................This is code for "We'll be backing out of our driveway in about 20 minutes. Then we'll stop along the way at a convenience store or Starbucks".

Upon delivery to any business such as a restaurant or Doctor's office, I can always expect the person that I hand the invoice to will stare at it as if it's written in Sanskrit. Then I will be informed that there is absolutely nobody there with the authority to write a check.

[byhammerandhand]

Sofadoc,
I still love your story about sitting around with a bunch of other business people telling stories about Customers from Hell.  At the end you discovered you were all talking about the same six or so people.   I love that story and have re-told it a number of times.

[sofadoc]

Sofadoc,
I still love your story about sitting around with a bunch of other business people telling stories about Customers from Hell.  At the end you discovered you were all talking about the same six or so people.   I love that story and have re-told it a number of times.

I always liked your story about the customer who found out that you were a math major, and asked "Then why are you fixing chairs?"

[Mike]

#30 there was snow ad ice on the cover and I was only doing 80  down I 75 I don't know why it ripped?

[byhammerandhand]

We don't get a lot of snow here.   Maybe a couple of times a month for a few days.   What surprises me are the people that know I'm coming and don't bother to clear off their front sidewalk from the snow the day before.   I'd like to fall once or twice and create a retirement plan.