Friday Funny

[byhammerandhand]

A DEA Agent stopped at a ranch in Texas and talked to an old rancher. He told the rancher: "I need to inspect your ranch for illegally grown drugs."

The rancher said: "Okay, but don't go into that field over there --" The DEA Agent interrupted, saying, "Look mister, am a government authority! See this badge? This badge means I can go wherever I want!"

The rancher kindly nodded, apologized, and went about his chores. Moments later he heard screams, he looked up and saw the DEA agent running for his life, being chased by the rancher's bull.

The old rancher threw down his tools, ran as fast as he could to the fence, and yelled at the top of his lungs...
"YOUR BADGE! SHOW HIM YOUR BADGE!"
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Why Old Men do not get hired

*Job Interview*

Personnel Manager: "What is your greatest weakness?"

Old Man : "Honesty."

Personnel Manager: "I don't think honesty is a weakness."

Old Man : "I don't really give a crap what you think."

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On a rural road a state trooper pulled this farmer over and said: "Sir, do you realize your wife fell out of the car several miles back?"

To which the farmer replied: "Thank God, I thought I had gone deaf!"

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A cowboy walked into a bar and ordered a whiskey. When the bartender delivered the drink, the cowboy asked, "Where is everybody?"

The bartender replied, "They've gone to the hanging."

"Hanging? Who are they hanging?"

"Brown Paper Pete," the bartender replied.

"What kind of a name is that?" the cowboy asked.

"Well," said the bartender, "he wears a brown paper hat, brown paper shirt, brown paper trousers and brown paper shoes."

"Weird guy," said the cowboy. "What are they hanging him for?"

"Rustling," said the bartender.

[gene]

Speaking of Texans, I still find it amazing how many people believe George W. is stupid. This shows the immense power of the news media. I have never had anyone give me an example of how he is stupid. Seriously. Never.

I've had people say "It's the way he talks." I point out that the question is not about your own ignorant bigotry. Science has show decades ago that regional dialects are not related to IQ.

You may disagree with his politics. How does your disagreement with his politics make him stupid?

We all, like sheep, just soak in what the main stream media tells us and life goes on.


Speaking of women who talk too much: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=-I3qREbKqLw

I do enjoy QI.


Remember the saying, "You couldn't fight your way out of a wet paper bag." I wonder if anyone actually did fight their way out of a wet paper bag, hence, the understanding that it is, for competent people, a rather easy thing to do.

gene

[sofadoc]

You may disagree with his politics. How does your disagreement with his politics make him stupid?

By the middle of their first term, most presidents are regarded as either "stupid" or "evil" or both.

George did have a lot of funny misspeaks. Do a youtube search for "George Bush Bloopers".
Take all the great speeches by former presidents. Roosevelt (fear itself) Kennedy (ask not) Lincoln (created equal). If any of those had been originated by a modern day president, Saturday Night Live would have a field day with them. Those speeches would used against them to prove what idiots they are.   

What I can't understand about people, is that when their guy doesn't get elected, they predict gloom and doom for America. And subsequent events of gloom and doom only seem to satisfy them.