Mojo's Friday Funnies

[Mojo]

Have a great, fun and safe weekend everyone.

Mojo

For decades, two heroic statues, one male and one female,
faced each other in a city park, until one day an angel
came down from heaven.

"You've been such exemplary statues," he announced to
them, "That I'm going to give you a special gift. I'm
going to bring you both to life for thirty minutes,
in which you can do anything you want." And with a clap
of his hands, the angel brought the statues to life.

The two approached each other a bit shyly , but soon
dashed for the bushes, from which shortly emerged a
good deal of giggling, laughter, and shaking of branches.
Fifteen minutes later, the two statues emerged from
the bushes, wide grins on their faces.

"You still have fifteen more minutes," said the angel,
winking conspiratorially.

Grinning even more widely the female statue turned to
the male statue and said, "Great! Only this time you
hold the pigeon down and I'll sh*t on it's head."

*********************

The preacher's Sunday sermon was "Forgive Your Enemies".
Toward the end of the service he asked his congregation,
"How many of you have forgiven your enemies?" About
half held up their hands. He then repeated his question.
As it was past lunchtime, this time about 80 percent
held up their hands. He then repeated his question again.
All responded, except one small elderly lady.

"Mrs.Jones," inquired the preacher, "are you not willing
to forgive your enemies?"

"I don't have any." she replied, smiling sweetly.

"Mrs. Jones, that is very unusual. How old are you?"

"Ninety-three." she replied.

"Oh Mrs. Jones, what a blessing and a lesson to us all
you are. Would you please come down in front of this
congregation and tell us all how a person can live ninety-
three years and not have an enemy in the world."

The little sweetheart of a lady tottered down the aisle,
faced the congregation, and said: "I outlived the b*tches."