Messages

Innocent DIYer recovering 8 Queen Anne Dining room Chairs.

WHERE I IS AT...

I covered one chair and made myself sick over it.  The lumps, the bumps, the tucks. So, for two weeks, everytime I looked over at my workspace, my stomach knotted.  But this morning, re-read all your comments, looked at one of the Youtube vids 3 x, and threw myself back into it and...

...you guys were right.  It got better.  Not as perfect as yours, but better.  And faster, too.  I did two more chairs today.  My hands are a little raw from pulling staples.  Maybe I can get two more done tomorrow.

Honest, thanks again, everyone.

j.

1. If you're the kind of person who has to pick up each staple when you remove it, and throw it right into the garbage, this is not for you.

2. If you hate blood blisters, don't do this.

3. This is not the kind of project you want the cat around.  That's why most of the people on this board have dogs.

4. Make no mistake: this is WORK.  That's why there are no upholstery theme parks, and no upholstery spectator sports.

5. If you and your family live in an apartment, and you need to take over a room for your upholstery project, put the kids into foster care.

6. It's probably insane to buy a DuoFast electric stapler for one DIY project, but you will find yourself constantly trying to justify it.

7. You will curse the head of the factory man who shot all those freaking staples into your chair.  And then you will do the same thing.

8. Try as you may to avoid it, eventually, you have to tackle corners.

9. Soon, you will stop washing your hands every 5 minutes.

10. Above all, take heart: such is our lot in life as mere mortals --   
      That we are born, take our place in society, cover a few chairs, grow old, and die.

=====

Please add to this list. 
And quit laughing at me.

Super info, I can't thank you enough.  Anything you can think of that I should know!

Just super stuff.

j.

Yes, very good,  these details are all gold.

-----

I was in advertising and we told similar jokes after getting (often) ludicrous input from clients, who were really too chicken to make a definite statement.

"He wants it big, yet small."
"He wants it serious, yet funny."
"He wants it in-your-face, but in a really subtle way."

j.

Okay, THIS I can get behind.  Gold.  Thank you, Big Grasshopper.

:)

j.

But 90% of our society WILL watch the video and rush to judgment.

The byte makes good news: "Cop punches pregnant woman".  Journalists used to investigate on behalf of the people and report to the people.  Forget that today.  Journalists are CELEBRITIES who play for popularity, not truth.

My take on the vid:

Pregnant-freaking-schmegnant: if she has her hands on a cop, there's a possibility she'll get the gun.  And a cop needs to do whatever he must to prevent that kind of deadly escalation.  In the vid, there are two cops right in front of her and the room was small and crowded: she could have harmed a few people if she'd gotten that gun.  And, indeed, the cop is punching downward: it certainly looks like he was punching her hands.  I would have punched her in the brain.

I was raised in a house where we did NOT regard cops as "Officer Friendly".  Instead, we learned, "Where the cops are...you AIN'T".  HOWEVER, we were also taught that if a cop tells you to halt, YOU halt.  And you don't argue with a cop, even if you didn't do anything -- that is an argument you cannot win.  You go quietly, get his shield #, and call Mom and Dad as soon as possible.

Why is this so freaking HARD?  I'll tell you why: because some people are nuts.  And some people are pregnant and nuts.

Okay I'm done.  Back to Dining-Room-Chair Hell...

j.

Min, yes, thanks: I think my chair is lumpy around that break because I turned under an inch of dacron all around.  I really have to go REwatch all the videos that you guys recommended.  I think they'll make more sense now that I've tried one.

I really worry all those staples chewing up that plywood frame.  Even though  I bought the chairs new -- and therefore this is their first REupholstery -- I'm actually thinking of gluing or sewing on that bottom "dust cover" to save some staples!

j.

The old saying goes, pull it tight but leave it loose.

Kode!  Don't leave  me hanging!  What exactly does this mean?

j.

CHRIS!  Is this the Harbor Freight Gun you meant:

http://www.harborfreight.com/3-in-1-stapler-brad-pin-nailer-93749.html

Thanks for this info: $20 I can handle.

j.

I feel this is some comeuppance for my sin of pride.

I really thought I could do this with only 12 staples per chair.

Is it the dog thing?  Do I need to get a dog?

j.

[Is it possible I'm pulling the fabric TOO tight?]

REF: Utter newbie recovering the bottoms of 8 Queen Anne Chairs, Mfg: White Furniture of Mebane (RIP).

Okay, the first chair isn't horrible: it's just not what you guys would do.  Where the fabric turns under the wood frame, it's a little wavy, pulled.  Is it possible I'm pulling the fabric TOO tight?

IMPORTANT DACRON BATTING QUESTION: I cut the dacron almost as big as the fabric.  Should I cut the dacron short so I'm only turning under and stapling the fabric?  The original upholsterer didn't use batting at all: just covered the foam with fabric so I can't tell from taking it apart.

ALSO do you ever say, "Oh, those few staples aren't quite right: let's pull them out and redo them."  Or are you banging out every staple perfectly every time?

ALSO ALSO What if I STEAM the fabric where it turns under?  You think that will shrink it a little so it tightens up a bit?

I DO feel the second chair will be better and also: I did an armchair first so I can hide it at the end of the table.

I have 7 more to go.  I did everything I was supposed to do.  I am sad.

j.

Spitting tacks I could get into.

Anybody have a tutorial?

j.

[8 CHAIRS]

Okay, allow me to inject a little sanity here:

8 Queen Anne chairs!  Remember: 8 CHAIRS -- that's all I'm in for!

What's the cheapest Duo-Fast?

j.

Okaaaaay.  What I really need to do -- and very quickly -- is to get to Home Depot and buy that Arrow T-10 staple gun for $20, before I'm tempted to do something really nuts.

WHICH model Duo Fast?

And can I use it for protection?

j.