Once I saw this guy on a bridge about to jump. I said, "Don't do it!
He said, "Nobody loves me."
I said, "God loves you. Do you believe in God?"
He said, "Yes."
I said, "Are you a Christian or a Jew?"
He said, "A Christian."
I said, "Me too! Protestant or Catholic?"
He said, "Protestant."
I said, "Me too! What franchise?"
He said, "Baptist."
I said, "Me too! Northern Baptist or Southern Baptist?"
He said, "Northern Baptist."
I said, "Me too! Northern Conservative Baptist or Northern Liberal Baptist?"
He said, "Northern Conservative Baptist."
I said, "Me too! Northern Conservative Baptist Great Lakes Region or Northern Conservative
Baptist Eastern Region?"
He said, "Northern Conservative Baptist Great Lakes Region."
I said, "Me too! Northern Conservative Baptist Great Lakes Region Council of 1879 or
Northern Conservative Baptist Great Lakes Region Council of 1912?"
He said, "Northern Conservative Baptist Great Lakes Region Council of 1912."
I said, "Die, heretic!" And I pushed him off the bridge.
My first reply was way too dark for this forum. So I deleted it. However, it was really funny! Even if it would have been only really funny to me, it was still really funny. :
I grew up in a Christian church that was a bit more conservative than the Baptists. They called themselves a non denomination. After the civil war the organization split among the Southern states who claimed that it was a sin to use musical instruments in church, and the Northern states who said it didn't matter. We, of the north, referred to the southern folks as our non fiddling brethren. ;D
It may be noted that the churches in the south lost all their organs and pianos in the war.
gene