A large group of Blondes and Brunettes went on a sightseeing tour in London. They boarded one of those double decker busses.
All of the Brunettes sat on the bottom level, all the Blondes sat on the top.
The Brunettes were have a great time laughing, drinking, and taking in all the sights. One of the Brunettes suddenly realized that they hadn't heard a peep out of the Blondes, so she went up to the top to check on them.
When she got up there, she found all the Blondes sitting frozen in their seats, gripping the handrails, looking straight ahead, with terrified looks on their faces.
The Brunette said "What's wrong up here? We're having a great time down below."
One of the Blondes said "Well, of course you're having a great time.......you've got a driver!!!
A blonde woman called the State Division of Wildlife regarding a snake in her backyard. "Can you tell me what kind it is?" she asked.
"Can you describe it?" he asked.
"Yes," she said. "It's long and thin."
Two ducks were swimming on a pond when one of them went "Quack".
The other looked at him and said: "I was going to say that."
If a man is alone in the forest with no women to hear him - is he still Wrong ?
Quote from: SteveA on November 14, 2014, 10:50:37 am
If a man is alone in the forest with no women to hear him - is he still Wrong ?
Man is Never Wrong!
BWA HA HAAAA
My Wife packed my bags and said "Get Out" !!! - As I walked out the front door she screamed, "I wish you a slow and painful death you bum" - I replied, " so now you want me to stay" !
Too funny Steve. As most of you know mine decided a few years ago to go part time. She was out for a couple of weeks, we had a very nice remembrance day and made plans for this weekend. I stopped by the apt. on my way to a service call after work Wed. and found out she has left me---again. I know exactly what that guy felt like LOL.
A blonde called the Fire Department.
"You've got to come to my house! Hurry! This is an emergency!"
The dispatcher asked "OK, OK. How do we get there?"
The blonde said "Well DUH!.........in a big red truck!"
Degrading, sexist, blonde jokes have been around for ever. It's the same thing over and over again, often being portrayed as dim-witted, female and sexually promiscuous.
Why is it then that blonde jokes are still so funny?
gene
PS: I got most of my social graces from Lenny Bruce, Richard Pryor, George Carlin, the very early Chris Rock, Joan Rivers, Lewis Black, CK Lewis, and now Hannibal Buress. :)
PPS: It's OK that SofaD tells blonde jokes. He has a friend who is blonde. ;D
Quote from: gene on November 16, 2014, 07:21:02 am
Degrading, sexist, blonde jokes have been around for ever. It's the same thing over and over again: dim-witted, female and often sexually promiscuous.
Why is it then that blonde jokes are still so funny?
gene
Simple.
Because they are!
Virginia
QuoteBecause they are!
You know Virginia, that is an incredibly profound statement. Comedians have the license in our society to point out this fact about so many things, over and over again.
gene
5 blondes walk into a bar and sit down. After a few minutes, they all get up and "High-five" each other while shouting "FIFTY DAYS! FIFTY DAYS!"
A while later, they do it again "FIFTY DAYS!FIFTY DAYS!"
The bartender asks them "What are you girls celebrating?"
One of the blondes says "We just completed a jigsaw puzzle. It said 2-4 years on the box, but WE did it in 50 days!"
I'm not personally saying anything against Texas - it was a random video e-mailed to me - Interesting Humor !
I admire all our great states !
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=yRZZpk_9k8E&feature=youtu.be
SA
Steve: I'll have you know that I represent that very much!! ;)
I actually helped my daughter film a similar on-campus piece when she was in college. At the time, Dick Cheney was VP.
She first asked "Who is our VP?" Nobody knew the answer.
Then she asked "Who is Dick Cheney?". The second question didn't even tip them off to go back and answer the first question.
They had no idea who bombed Pearl Harbor, or what countries were allies. And when given the answer, they refused to believed that Russia was our ally.
They had a vague idea that Johnny Carson was some type of entertainer.
But when asked "Who is Fred Durst?" they ALL knew that he was the lead singer for Limp Bizkit.
Doc
I'm glad you accepted my disclaimer - I wasn't a good student myself, but can't help but be amazed at some of those answers - seems like those students did too much wacky weed instead of paying attention. At least I learned how to make saw dust -
haven't watched Jimmy Fallon once ... Jay was OK but Carson ruined it for me !
SA
I have to go back and re watch the vid. I forgot some of the questions. I think I have like a "C" ,hopefully B+score. But I don't follow Holleyweird and ,meaning no disrespect , who your vise president is ---does not affect me.
We learned in school that following the Boston tea party you fought the British for your independence in 1776, and that while his name was on the declaration of independence, Ben Franklin was not the top of the list. That honour went to John [It's been along time since highschool ] Hancock ? I know it is origin of the expression " Put your John Henry right here"
General Ulysses S Grant led the union army to victory over the Confederate commander [who's name escapes me ---after all these years] over slavery and being one consolidated country. That campaign was followed by the "Spanish -American War' to compete with Spain for Texas and area. Kudos to all those 130 men that held Santa Anna off that long at Alamo.
Do other countries learn British or Canadian history?
My wee niece is a natural blonde. She and her girls are quick as whips. She was reading the newspaper before she started kindergarten. She knows ( and can ham up ) more blonde jokes than you have ever seen. She was so funny .
now she is a Mom. great sense of humour---no time.
Here's one my wife showed me this evening. I guess this is being passed around on Facebook.
On a plane bound for New York the flight attendant approached a blonde sitting in the first class section and requested she move to economy since she didn't have a first class ticket.
The blonde replied, "I'm blond, I'm beautiful, I'm going to New York and I'm not moving."
Not wanting to argue with a customer the flight attendant asked the co-pilot to speak to her. He went to talk with the woman asking her to please move out of the first class section.
Again, the blonde replied, "I'm blonde, I'm beautiful, I'm going to New York and I'm not moving.
The co-pilot returned to the cockpit and asked the captain what he should do. The captain said, "I'm married to a blonde, and I know how to handle this."
He went to the first class section and whispered in the blonde's ear. She immediately jumped up and ran to the economy section mumbling to herself, "Why didn't anyone just say so?"
Surprised, the flight attendant and the co-pilot asked the captain what he said to her. The captain replied: "I told her the first class section wasn't going to New York."