A husband and wife are shopping at a grocery store.
The husband spots a 24 pack of Bud Light for $10. He immediately grabs one and tosses it in the cart.
The wife says "What do you think you're doing?"
The husband says "24 cans for only 10 bucks! That's a good deal!"
The wife snaps "But we're on a budget, and can't afford anything that we don't absolutely need! Put it back!"
Reluctantly, the husband obeys.
Down the next aisle, the wife grabs a small jar of face cream that costs $35 and puts it in the cart.
The husband protests "I thought you said we can't afford anything we don't absolutely need".
The wife replies "We do need this. It will make me look young and beautiful for you".
The husband retorts "So will the beer, and it's only 10 bucks!"
The beer will work better. Face cream does not work on varicous veins, " a few extra pounds", or an ugly disposition. ;D
(https://forum.upholster.com/proxy.php?request=http%3A%2F%2Fi1179.photobucket.com%2Falbums%2Fx386%2FEdwinNorthuis%2Fth_HomelessMan.jpg&hash=9565659c4133d4c2029a471629c836dd) (http://s1179.photobucket.com/user/EdwinNorthuis/media/HomelessMan.jpg.html)
I was walking down the street when I was accosted by a particularly dirty and shabby-looking homeless man who asked me for a couple of dollars for dinner.
I took out my wallet, extracted ten dollars and asked,"If I give you this money, will you buy some beer with it instead of dinner?"
"No, I had to stop drinking years ago," the homeless man replied.
"Will you use it to go fishing instead of buying food?" I asked.
"No, I don't waste time fishing," the homeless man said.."I need to spend all my time trying to stay alive."
"Will you spend this on hunting equipment?" I asked.
"Are you NUTS!" replied the homeless man. "I haven't gone hunting in 20 years!"
"Well," I said, "I'm not going to give you money. Instead, I'm going to take you home for a shower and a terrific dinner cooked by my wife."
The homeless man was astounded. "Won't your wife be furious with you for doing that?
I replied, "Don't worry about that. It's important for her to see what a man looks like after he has given up drinking, fishing and hunting."
OMG!!! You're killin' me Kody. I have soooo got to send that to the old lady.
Yep. Women work hard on their bodies to look great. Men work hard on their BS to look great. ;D
I recently watched a doc on Joan Rivers. She said a single woman in her 30's is a "spinster". A single man in his 90's is a "good catch".
gene