An upholsterer was vacationing in Scotland and was visiting a small pub one night. Just him and the barkeep. The old man asked with a thick Scot brogue, "Lad, I see you're not from around here. Where be ya from?
The visitor said, "Right, I'm, John Smith. I'm from America and I'm an upholsterer. They call me Smitty-the-Ragtacker."
The Old Man says, "Lad, look out there to the field. Do ya see that fence? Look how well it's built. I built that fence stone by stone with me own two hands. I piled it for months."
"But do they call me MacGregor-the-Fence-Builder? Nooo..."
Then the old man gestured at the bar. "Look here at the bar. Do ya see how smooth and just it is? I planed that surface down by me own achin' back. I carved that wood with me own hard labour, for eight days."
"But do they call me MacGregor-the-Bar-builder? Nooo..."
Then the old man points out the window. "Eh, Laddy, look out to sea...Do ya see that pier that stretches out as far as the eye can see? I built that pier with the sweat off me back. I nailed it board by board."
"But do they call me MacGregor-the-Pier-Builder? Nooo..."
Then the old man looks around nervously, and leaned in.
"But ya have sex with a sheep one time..."