One day, God and Adam were walking in the Garden of Eden. God told Adam that it was time to populate the Earth.
"Adam, you can start by kissing Eve."
"Lord, what is a kiss?" asked Adam.
God explained, and then Adam took Eve behind the bush and kissed her.
A little while later, Adam returned with a big smile and said, "Lord! That was great! What's next?"
"Adam, I now want you to caress Eve."
"Lord, what is caress?" asked Adam.
God explained, then Adam took Eve behind the bush and caressed her.
A little while later, Adam returned with a big smile and said, "Lord that was even better than a kiss! What's next?"
"Here is what gets the deed done. I now want you to make love to Eve."
"Lord, what is make love?" asked Adam.
God explained, then Adam took Eve behind the bush.
A few seconds later, Adam returned and asked, "Lord, what is a headache?"
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Sister Mary Katherine lived in a nunnery, a block away
from Jack's liquor store. One day, in walked Sister
Mary Katherine and she said, "Jack, give me a pint
o' the brandy."
"Sister Mary Katherine," exclaimed Jack, "I could never
do that! I've never sold alcohol to a nun in my life!"
"Oh Jack," she responded, "it's only for the Mother
Superior." Her voice dropped. "It helps her constipation,
you know."
So Jack sold her the brandy.
Later that night Jack closed the store and walked home.
As he passed the nunnery, who should he see but Sister
Mary Katherine. And she was snookered. She was singing
and dancing, whirling around and flapping her arms like
a bird, right there on the sidewalk.
A crowd was gathering so Jack pushed through and exclaimed,
"Sister Mary Katherine! For shame! You told me this
was for the Mother Superior's constipation!"
Sister Mary Katherine didn't miss a beat as she replied:
"And so it is, me lad, so it is. When she sees me,
she's going to sh*t!"
In the vein of number one.....
Scientists have finally discovered the foodstuff that turns women off sex.
Wedding cake.