I know. I should be at work but I've got soooo many things to do here at home!
The teacher gave her fifth grade class an assignment:
Get their Parents to tell them a story with a moral at the
end of it.
The next day, the kids came back and, one by one, began to
tell their stories. There were all the regular types of stuff:
spilled milk and pennies saved. But then the teacher realized,
much to her dismay, that only Skip was left.
"Skip, do you have a story to share?"
Yes ma'am. My daddy told a story about my Aunt Karen . She
was a pilot in Desert Storm, and her plane got hit. She had
to bailout over enemy territory, and all she had was a flask
of whiskey, a pistol, and a survival knife.
She drank the whiskey on the way down so the bottle wouldn't
break, and then her parachute landed her right in the
middle of 20 Iraqi troops.
She shot 15 of them with the pistol, until she ran
out of bullets, killed four more with the knife, till the blade
broke, and then she killed the last Iraqi with her bare hands.
"Good Heavens," said the horrified teacher. "What kind of
moral did your daddy tell you from this horrible story?"
"Stay the hell away from Aunt Karen when she's been drinking."